Memoirs of ISC 2007 – Chemistry

All bad things come to an end, and I’m glad they do.

Most of us didn’t get much sleep last night. From Zafar’s frantic midnight call to request ‘Isomerism’ sheets, to Ali’s refusal of letting me study, to Unmukt’s first-time-ever five hour marathon of studying and to the last night’s Champion’s League action that I missed, yesterday was terrible. Studying or trying to study for 24 hours is not a friggin’ joke. But I guess, we were the “makers of our own fate” and all that rot. However the common thread uniting most of us commoners was that we really didn’t give/don't give a shit about chemistry. Yes, not the best of attitudes to have, but when the legendary ISC allows you to fail in two out of six subjects, you might as well fail in what deserves to fail in. Obviously we aren’t “failing” but get the vibe.

Today’s morning was especially stressful. The only positive aspect of that is the fact that releasing this stress with the people you love is a rare joy. How else would Sodium Orgasmate been formulated? Or Kablu Khan for that matter, and all the other things that I can't now remember, but which you can enlighten me with. By the way, if interested, ask Romit or Ali for the exact Khan-Sen Synthesis of Sodium Orgasmate.

Everyone was laughing their stress off, by mocking and ridiculing themselves. Aaron was up to his “screwed” best, which he substantiated when he told me that Phthalic Acid was a Monomer of Terylene. Oh and Rubin knew it too, and so did Jeetu. But yup, they were all 'screwed'. Yeah, Ali you are probably going to want to jump me for what you might consider to be my 'hypocrisy', but too bad. Ameya hadn’t studied anything as usual, where as we were all secretly praying in our hearts that Tejas had studied enough to pass. Romit had done the entire portion, much to the annoyance of Ali, whereas Ashiq and I could still not get over his dream. Basically we were all crapping in our pants before we entered the examination hall, how much ever we tried to mask it with the “don’t-care” attitude.

The paper was tough. According to me, it was tough to score very high marks in, but easy to get a good decent score in. It was better than I thought it would be, and I guess most would agree. I did, however, make the stupid mistake of not pacing out my paper well. I did an extra question in Section A before reaching Organic, and then I didn’t have enough time to do Organic properly, a section in which I knew most of the stuff. But no regrets, I am just happy it’s over.

Outside, the aftermath saw the nerds going insane with the answers and started hounding Dr Khan over intricate details. The irony of the day was that for all the “student-friendly” lectures that Dr Khan gave us, Chemistry was the most un-student-friendly paper we have had yet. Bharath, Kaushik and Nikhil had visibly disappointed looks on their faces trying their best to convince themselves that they are losing only “half-a-mark”. Oh, the tension and drama of competition I say!

Meanwhile outside the school gates, Karan was at his volcanic best, abusing and amusing everyone around him, with his "don't-give-a-shit", "atheist" attitude. I remember, in 7th Grade, I annoyed him so much that he once took out his craft-blade, and came out to kill me. Believe me, he did, literally. People had to hold him back. I freaked, obviously. It was probably as bad as the time Rohit Das "choke-slammed" me onto the lockers. The reason - I used tell him to "keep-smiling". Bloody hell, he could never wipe that smirk off his face, so I used to mocking-ly encourage it. Ahh memories!

Today, Ali is not getting full, but Aaron is, and Shayaan seemed to have had a rocking paper, making minimal mistakes. Hmm, maybe the odds require new entries.

For me, this is the first of three “end-of-exams”. I have the whole of the Desert Rock to look forward too, which no doubt will be bloody exciting. Iron Maiden, Robert Plant! We are very lucky here in Dubai; rather we are a little spoilt with all these high profile performers being showered upon us with unbelievable ease. But hey, I am not complaining.

Sleep is essential.

By the way, Wild Wadi was great fun. You should have seen Kaushik’s face after having experienced the “Jumeirah Scare” and realizing that he had mucked up DDT.

P.S. The odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand:
Shayaan: 3.5:1
Shrivats: 2.8:1
Bharath: 3.2:1
Unmukt: 3.3:1
Govind: 3:1
Tejas: 70800 x 10^3: 1

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – Maths!

We didn’t know how good today was going to be. Well, I didn’t. I got up and freaked over 3-D. I had studied it the day before, but it didn’t seem to be making sense today. Integration was the same too - nothing made sense. Confidence was on a big-time low.

The car-ride saw Shayaan, Ali and me discussing how none of us had done the vector-prove-that sums properly, though Ali knew it all, that un-naïve, board-topping, non-imbecile of a guitar-cum-study-genius. On reaching school, things didn’t change, I was pretty darn nervous, because this exam was important to me on some un-important level. Anyway, Ameya was at his laughing-because-he-knows-nothing best, Romit was “screwed” and Ashiq was on about his unique dream. Harry cut some of his hair and said that he was aiming for 100, and what would be a 79 mark leap from his previous "promising" score of 21. I say confidence is good weird-haired Harry! Tejas was in some classroom, desolate and lonely, waiting for the sky to ring with eternal pangs of separation, for he felt that nothing separated Shrivats Mohan from Tejas Menon, as their souls rose towards one heaven on the sad music of maths. Bharath was laughing and helping everyone out, whereas Zafar was distributing some Arabic stuff. I was partially freaking out. Oh, and Rohith Salim was also on an all-time nerves-high. Govind came late.

When we did get the paper, the tension was replaced by “haha”. The paper was easy. We had done more than 29/50^th sums before, and for that I, and I’m sure all the rest you too, would like to thank Mr Mehmood Mudassir for his great, devoted and yet Alpha-Q loving, teaching. Most of the nerd gang are getting full, with Ali topping all possible lists. and Unmukt’s paper went only “okay” because everyone else is also getting full. It was a good day indeed, everyone seemed happy and the ISC re-iterated Dr Khan again by proving that these exams were indeed “student friendly” x 10. Next time, attach the answers too, k? No, I am not complaining.

Ali was so glad that he was getting 105 on 100, that he started dreaming of replacing Thapa as the school security guard. No not really, but Ali took Thapa's police-men type hat and wore it. All he needed now was a six-pack and a flaming guitar, then the "look" would be complete. Okay, shit, this is getting too Ali-oriented.

On a more philosophical note, today’s great mathematics exam made us realize that chemistry can die, for I don’t believe in chemistry, I don’t believe in metals, for life is everything but chemistry, for chem is tree. For all those who are interested, please bring 150 dirhams to school on Wednesday. We are planning to head out to Wild Wadi at 12:30 P.M. for some wadi fun! Tell your mums you will be home by 4:30 P.M, and make sure to pack in a lunch, a towel and some trunks. And, umm you girls are welcome too. Till Wadi then, adios!

P.S. The odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand:

The Entire Grade 12 - 1:1

LOST

"Welcome to LOST. This game is a student project - players score points by inviting others to the game. It aims to show how 7 million people can be connected and become the largest online game ever.

You can join the game if you find an invitation. An invitation is an internet address that looks like this: www.lost.eu/example - but instead of the word 'example' there are some random numbers and letters.

There are invitations written everywhere - on the internet and in the real world.
To win the game you must score points. To score points you must invite other people using a unique address that is given to you. www.lost.eu/youraddress

Everyone in the game has a profile where they can see who they have invited and who has invited them. It's possible to interact with anyone in the game.

The game will end when it reaches 7 million players - the winner of the game will get $5000, and the top ten $500 each. There is also a prize given to the best photograph of an invitation."

...so quotes the "LOST" website...now you might as well join yeah?

www.lost.eu/279bf

P.S. 100th post! But "LOST", hah! And umm, thanks Romit. :P

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – English Literature

There was nothing half-interesting about our journey to school this time, though Al Futtaim cleaners were polishing my corridor floor when I walked out today, and they got all mad when I stepped all over the polish. But hey, we are talking about my God Damn boards here, I need to get to the lift.

The highlight of the morning was my dad’s outburst, as in a positive one, full of energy. We started discussing my future, only this time it was exciting rather than confusing. It feels good to have your path laid out, now all you have to do is to walk/run it and pray that it’s a decently smooth journey.

English Literature was our first real test. No Bashir, no non-sense, no free marks (English Language) – studying was essential. What I liked about my “studying” was that I really enjoyed Richard II. It’s a brilliant play, and Shakespeare is friggin’ inspiring genius. I actually enjoyed some of the poems too – Prayer Before Birth, Story Of Lost Friends, Flute Music and A Walk By Moonlight are all deep and interesting. Anyway, my point is studying for this exam wasn’t all that bad. However I did get annoyed with my writing in general, I really need to start reading more books.

The paper was as “student-friendly” as it could be, but I can’t really judge how well mine went. I am not all depressed and irritated, so I guess that’s a good sign, but then I also don’t really care that much, so it’s also confusing. One man not confused is Shrivats. In his after-exam interview, the only thing he had to say was – “27 sides.” This study-beast has a clingy chest infection which causes him to burst into a multitude of coughs quite randomly. Now that could prove to be an obstruction towards his ambition of doing the double by topping the ISC, already having topped the ICSE. But, today this chest-infection was a source of mockery for Karan Khanna, which I don’t find funny in anyway. Despite his chest infection, Shrivats is going to kick your sorry ass Karan, because he seems to have had a rocking English Literature and Language exam. You, Karan, on the other hand visited the toilet, yawned, yawned again and finished your paper half an hour earlier. That doesn’t sound too good. Anyway Shri’s odds need re-adjusting and Karan needs an eruption to cool off. Whereas Govind seemed a little distressed about forgetting to write the “first bit” of the Garden scene. But chill Gov, I don’t think it should be that big a problem. Bharath’s went well – I think so anyway, because well, he wrote 3 practice essays for Prayer Before Birth. Whereas Aaron is going to beat Shrivats, apparently he too, like Shri and Kau came close to mugging up the entire of Richard II. Ali didn’t like his Garden scene essay, but he is still going to get full, though Aaron will beat him, somehow.

Nothing more I can think off. Oh, Annika learnt about the Extra-Booklets and Twins Ltd. Soon the rest of the girl’s section will also be enlightened. I think they are the highest consumers of extra booklets in the whole darn world. Guinness, you there? Ladies, Unmukt is a close third. Maths on Monday, and the die-all Chemistry on Wednesday to look forward too. Dad’s playing the Devil by tempting me to go for the Federer V Haas match today. Should I? I won’t get myself to study today anyway, how much ever I try.

P.S. Life sucks and there is nothing you can do about it, sometimes.
Odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand: [screw you anonymous]
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 2.5:1
Govind: 3:1
Unmukt: 3.9:1
Tejas: 780800:1

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – English Language

It’s 8:00 AM and I find it very difficult to get up, though I am wide awake. There is this weird feeling in my stomach. I somehow struggle out of bed, and a long visit to the bathroom flushes out the stomach issue. No no I don’t have diarrhea, it’s PBS – Pre Board Stress. Nerves for English Language? I don’t get it. But a few more visits to the bathroom make it evident that I should not run away from the truth. I get some hard core English Language studying in, and then try some music to soothe the nerves. But it doesn’t totally work. A random profane conversation with Ali is what helps.

Anyway it’s 10:40 AM, time to head to school. Shayaan, Ali and I wait for a cab. But we don’t find one. I am not panicked, Ali is around. Shayaan and Ali however do get a little panicked and we contemplate that the worst case scenario would be running to school. Wow, now that would kick your ass Tejas, wouldn’t it? But Shayaan freaks at the prospect, because I guess only he is smart enough to realize that even running would take over an hour to reach school. I have this peculiar banana peal in my hand. I wasn’t able to devour anything else. We get into a private super-expensive Taj hotel cab. Ali freaks and we think we might have to pay 300 dirhams. It’s then the turn of the banana to make the cab smell. Now put that earlier sentence in wrong Hindi and you’ll see what I said. We discuss pointless English Language doubts and questions. And finally we reach school at 11:15 AM.

No one seems to be tensed, and everyone proceeds into the hall as excited as ever. Shrivats is a little more excited than usual. There is no physical barrier between the girls and boys this time so Shri claims that he will stare his “buttocks off”, in his own style of words. Alas, hormones rage for different people at different times.

Mr Bloud’s prayer and the-external-examiner's-struggle-to-open-the-“sealed package”-that-is-our-ISC-board-papers fails to amuse us. An eerie nervous silence now prevails in the auditorium. We get the paper. It’s simple. Essay topics are good, and I know immediately which essay the twins would do, the one on “One World State” obviously. Later, everyone boasts as to how good their paper was. Ashiq’s was “superb”. Tejas wrote the coolest essay ever in the history of essays. Ali’s getting full, and he also learnt that he got full in Computer Practicals – I tell you, he’s going to break barriers this year, Shrivats beware. Aaron was supremely confident. Eddie and Rubin put on a few cheeks, I mean weight, but hell I shouldn’t be ridiculing. Rohith was awesome, and Imaad kinda forgot that he had an exam today. Shayaan is on the moon as usual, and is skipping Act 2 in Richard. Unmukt kick-started his deadly eco-rant in his “Money” essay, which was also the essay I did, but less eco-ish. My paper was okay, as I don’t think you can say how good or bad it really went. But I felt decent after it, so I guess that’s all that matters. Govind has “studied his ass off for everything” (:p), so his odds need to be altered obviously. Romit. Harry and HIS HAIR. Oh. My. God. [sorry Ashiq, hear OMG is so needed] Literature tomorrow, and I have 4 poems left, and I am blogging. Brilliant.

P.S. Odds . Okay I don’t care if it makes sense or not, so .|. : Odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand:
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 2.99998:1
Unmukt: 3.7:1
Tejas: 78080:1

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – End Of “Study” Leave.

So long “study” leave. For all those that did satisfyingly study, and not get distracted – kudos. I, on the other hand was nothing but distracted, and this uneventful month went by quite slowly. But there were positives. I discovered and invented newer ways of passing time. But this month will be legendary in its own way: [in reverse order]

1. Facebook revolutionized most if not all of our lives.
2. I didn’t miss a single Arsenal match.
3. Got into Illinois, but then the whole of Grade 12 did. I am not complaining, it gave me satisfaction anyway.
   
4. Redial Entertainment work continued. We finished making backdrops for an event headed by Princess Haya – Sheikh Mohammed’s youngest wife.
5. I had an unexpectedly pleasant birthday. Thanks you guys, with a special mention to Ali and his dinner treat. KFC did make us put on a few kilos, for we kept stuffing ourselves, complaining about how bad and fatty the chicken was.
6. Dads and Mum’s anniversary.
7. American Idol
8. More Facebook, more MSN, more pointless conversations, and unnecessary excuses NOT to study.
9. The Official Farewell - with its toasts, with the awesome percussion and singing, and with a visibly half-annoyed Principal thanks to the ‘mixing’ and the photography.
10. The Farewell “Before Party” with all its “storming outs” and the consequent rumours. It was night when Modern High and its couples broke barriers, and where there was a whole twist of feelings and emotion, for me, and for many others.
11. Sister’s birthday and her Spanish departure.
12. Sports Day and how Aquila didn’t win. Damn it Aaron! Neil broke the 12-second barrier.
13. And umm amidst all that, a little bit of studying too.

Now it’s time to face the music as they say. Let’s just hope it’s not as sour as we think it might be.

P.S. Almighty Lord, chemistry is unbelievable.

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – Chemistry Practicals

Chem is tree. Ha Ha. Funny joke huh? Well ‘Chem Pracs’ was a joke, an annoying, half-funny joke.

There was nothing exciting about our car journey to school except that I forgot that it was a Friday and that there would be no buses back home. Shit. But Ali’s parents came to our rescue quite brilliantly, and transport wasn’t a problem. Also Shayaan cracked a very harmless joke about “not-asking-Romit-but-Shrivats-your-doubts” which brought out Ali’s protective colours. He snapped back at the tall 'pianist', and basically, Romit, that’s a sign that you are loved, despite everything. =)

Once we entered school, the same old same old remained the same old same old. Wise-cracks and nerve-releasing laughter rang all around. Ritesh’s “ten dirhams” was a constant amidst all this. Nobody was really revising, though everyone had “sheets” in their hands. The same old teacher-brief followed when Dr Khan enlightened us with his wisdom. We made our entry into our laboratories after a short and sweet Mr Bloud prayer.

I began my escapade with titration. Soon I, and well we, switched into the same old panic gear. The titration required our solutions, which were in the conical flask to be heated, and there where no flames in the physics lab. Screwed. We did have water baths though, but they weren’t really working with the flasks. We did try, and Basheer did almost burn his hand, but all we got for our efforts were broken flasks, exploding stoppers, toppling solutions and a big scare. We were definitely not ready for this. So the whole jing-bang of "authoritative figures" came into the room trying to rectify this problem, with each one trying to outsmart the other. Special cooking-stove-like structures were then brought in. The water baths were satisfyingly manipulated, and 25 minutes later, the titration experiment actually started making sense. But it didn’t need to make sense, because “pssst, 20.1” – go figure.

Organic was easy. We all know why – as Omar (yes Ali, your brother) said, Basheer Zindabad! But even besides him and his great services, it was indeed easy. As we prepared to dive into our mixture analysis, another “psssst…pass it on” occured. So, anyway, mixture analysis was a breeze. We did show all our confirmatory tests to the examiner, now didn’t we? Everyone came out of their respective labs happy, showering wedding congratulations to our man Basheer, and greeting their fellow compatriots with toothy victorious smiles. Everyone got everything. Yay!

Shrivats broke all records today. He asked for an extra booklet to supplement his 16 pages. But my sources say that he wanted to “re-write” the entire paper in thirty minutes because he has scratched something out somewhere. Now something like that confuses me - Should I increase his odds or decrease them? Govind, Bharath and Unmukt seemed un-distressed, so umm, their odds kinda remain the same, though I have reason to believe that Unmukt has more drive, but as I discussed with you Unmukt, there is a fine line between confidence and overconfidence. Ali is getting full as usual and he might actually get additional marks thanks to his seduction skills, Ritesh is doing “brilliantly”, Tejas actually got everything this time, so I think I need to cut him some slack and get rid of one of his zeros. Romit, Yuvraj, Ashiq and everyone else I can think of did well. The girls also seemed happy and the “external examiners” were just awesome. Dr Khan was so tensed, until the end, obviously.

One of the external invigilators, who happened to be some football coach of some school came to me in the middle my grade 12 board examination and whispered in my ear, “So you finally get the cup, hai?”

Anish and Ali couldn’t stop laughing during the car-ride home.

P.S. Odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand:
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 3.001:1
Unmukt: 3.5:1
Tejas: 780800:1

Current Investments: 0 – you cheap bastards.

Memoirs of ISC 2007 – Physics Practicals

I sleep really well last night. Just before, I had filled my ‘pencil’-box with loads of pens, pencils, rubbers and so on, made sure my clothes and lab-coat was ironed, my admit card was around, my alarm was set, my bag was packed and my face and only that was shaved. The physics practical exam doesn’t require studying, apparently.

By 6:20 A.M. Ali, Shayaan and me are in Shayaan’s mum’s car, and after the usual check-ups, there is an eerie board-like silence. Yup our boards have finally begun, and so has the tension and the studying, and the increasingly periodic excretion. But back in the car, I scold Ali for laminating his Admit Card – don’t do it, ever, the ‘authenticity’ (thanks Zafar) of an official document no longer remains once it is laminated. But then Ali commits greater sins, first of which - he forgets to sign the friggin’ Admit Card before laminating it, and second, he lies to us about it, only to confess later on. Loser.

We arrive in school earlier than we should, only to realize that Aaron, Rubin, Tejas and the remaining Sharjah gang reached school at 5:30AM – an hour earlier. Brilliantly safe, you guys. After the previous English Language experience, any earlyy arrival time earlier is better. However, it is now that the board-exam nervous-feeling starts to disappear. A lot of laughing at the same Rohith-jokes, a lot of singing of the same Ali-Tejas songs and a lot of random talking-updates follow. That’s what I am going to miss most about school, the same old same old fun =). Anyway, Bharath enters, and is greeted with a bowlful of love (hugs) and a chorus of Happy Birthdays, by everyone except Rohith. Why? Rohith has forgotten his lab coat. All the jokes don’t seem funny any more, and he actually switches into panic gear, but thankfully, only temporarily.

Finally the time to be half-serious comes upon us. Reshmi Ma’am gives us the potential-could-be answers, and the last minute reminders and tips. We line up, the girls on one side, boys on the other, and Mr. Joseph above us, on the stairs. The external examiner, who has flown in all the way from India, as in THE man, is late. So Mr Joseph unleashes on us the longest and brestest-sorry best-est of prayers, and we finally move into our respective laboratories.

The paper is simple. But I still end up messing up the first, easy Optical Bench experiment. It’s my turn to switch into panic gear, but I calm down after manipulating and rectifying the stupid error. There is a randomly fascinating moment amidst all this. Basheer, our school’s lab assistant, moves to each table, and mumbles random numbers – 33 2 35. Hmm, interesting. Anyway, one experiment down, one to go.

The second electricity experiment seems easy-peesy. But I screw up. The supposed answer is 2, and I know it’s 2, but even after manipulation I can only get 1.64. I put all the blame on the stupid Ammeter, it couldn’t stop vibrating it’s God-damned stick. Anyway, I might lose a couple of marks there and for potentially S.I. Unit related mistakes. Damn.

But as Dr Khan said, the ISC exams are very student-friendly, and today's paper (+ the "experience") was a little more 'friendly' than it should have been, but hey, I am not complaining. The after-shocks and the after-hurray’s were the usual. A lot of confirming-your-answers-with-the-Physics-teacher took place, though different teachers gave us different answers (yeah Aaron, confusing, though I sincerely hope that the Mrs. is right).
From what I’ve heard, a certain Linda hit the nervous breakdown button, but relax girl – you will be fine. Tejas’ ultra-manipulation didn’t work for Question 1, Ali kicked-ass and is getting full, Shayaan got some weird slope for question 2, but the right final answer, Romit seemed satisfied but confused about his P-resistor’s value, Ameya seemed satisfied with a 15 on 20, the girls seemed to have been generally rocking, but Aarthy T seemed a little distressed, the twins were as confident as ever, Unmukt seemed more worried about reprimanding Mrs Balachandran for the apparent false-news that she was spreading and Bharath, my man, seemed to have hit the nail on the head, but Govind’s paper involved a lot of scratching. Hmm, that might make me want to reduce the odds for him.

Ali had a very child-filled entertaining bus-ride home.

P.S. Odds for “Who Will Top?” as they currently stand: (investments start at a minimum of 50 fils)
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 3.00001:1
Unmukt: 4:1
Tejas: 7808000:1

Memoirs Of ISC 2007 - Prelude

It's time for another memory-sustaining phase on this blog. Our fate-less, pain-in-the-ass ISC Exams have finally begun, and I don't want to forget the good or the bad experience it might turn out to be. So these future posts might contain painful details, and intricate, incomprehensible tit-bits which might be only for me to get and a few others to laugh about. So ignore, read, enjoy or hate it. And for those who actually give a shit (as in can relate), please feel free to add your own experiences too.

To all my fellow ISC and ICSE exam givers, and umm also to the regular school exam-givers - Good Luck!

Oh one interesting part though, in the race to have your name printed on the school boards as ISC topper, I am betting on Bharath and Govind, and obviously supporting them. Kick-ass guys, all the way, though a certain twin will definitely be competition.

P.S. Fate-less for me, so Bharath don't jump on me! And umm, a few betting odds as to who might top, that you might want to consider investing in:
Bharath 3:1
Shrivats: 3:1
Govind: 3:1
Unmukt: 4:1
Tejas: 78080:1

"Dear Diary…"

Everyone has kept a “diary” (especially you women) at some point in their life, in which they have blurted out their “deepest and darkest secrets” and emotions and feelings and all the other rot. Our “diary” is generally a substitute friend in which we vent our hearts out, which we would actually have preferred doing with a living breathing reacting soul instead, at least I would have OR it is this source of amusement ten years down the line when you are laughing your buttuties off at the fact that you were once such a kid. Anyhoo, yesterday, while “studying”, I came across my “diary”. It had only one entry in it, written all the way back in the millennium year. On the cover I had made a movie-like effort to write “STOP”, “DON’T TOUCH”, “DANGER” and all the other rubbish with white-ink. It was an old book, so I stapled the first few pages to make it look new, and wolah! – I had a new “diary”. This is how my first and only entry exactly went:

Today it is the 25^th of Jan, 2000, the tuesday :-

My life is ruined. I, being only in 5^th have to study so much! How can I study for 6 hours. There is a limit for everything. My sister is in 2^nd year of college and she dose’nt study for 6 hours per day. I cannot go for the football tournament on thursday if I do not study well on wednesday. I cannot do down(stairs) to play football except for wednesday and thursday because this is my final term. I have friends who are in 6^th, 7^th, 8^th. They are not studying as much as I am. Now when I tell this to my parents they say, “Do not compare.” And when my friend gets little higher marks than me, then my parents say, “Next time you should get higher marks than him.” Is’nt that comparing!

My computer had gone down for repair for 3 weeks. So I couldn’t play computer for 3 weekends, that is 12 hours (I got to play 4 hours per weekend on those days). And then when the computer comes, I get my time of 4 hours, not even 6!

Nothing is going my way, not at home or at school. I am not getting good grades in my projects cause I am not getting information. I don’t have information at home. So I have to get information from the net. But the computer was’nt there for 3 weeks. So no net. Now that I have got net, I haven’t got ‘Microsoft Word!’!!!

In my cricket match, I feilded well but bowled not so good. But it was my first over of the tournament.

---------- 0 ----------

Which match? – Don’t know, don’t remember, so don’t ask. By the way, that was a completely unedited version of the entry, no grammar check, no punctuation correction and no additional masala added to make you go ‘=O’. Surprisingly the entry didn’t have any girl related issues, which normally make it in most of these diaries, especially those pink ones.

I remember Tejas started a diary in 10^th grade – yeah he was real grown up then. And well it was really unique, he wrote, for a week I think, every single detail of that Ali did. 'Ali looked at me', 'Ali laughed', 'Ali dug his nose', 'Romit!', 'Harry is crazzzzy', 'Ali is guitar', 'Ali and I went up to Mrs Joshi and screwed Romit over, and Mrs Joshi loves Anish'. Now if you ever get hold of that, either you’ll get annoyed reading it or laugh your asses off. We do the latter.

P.S. If anyone doubts the 'veracity' of the diary entry, please feel free to ask me to show it to you if you ever make it to my place. =)

An Animal Instinct Indeed

Galtee Merci, The “Hero of Irish Agriculture”
"Ireland's most prolific bull, which is thought to have fathered at least 100,000 daughters and countless sons and boosted the country's milk output, has died."

An Obituary

7^th February was a day of great sadness, when the doer of all good that Irish Agriculture saw, miserably ran out of steam, and passed away. This mighty soldier who fathered at least 100,000 daughters and numerous sons, has moved on, to explore greener pastures and deflower the divine, in the heavenly abode of God. His William’s services have resulted in the desired pervasion of his kind – the spread of bull-ality in Ireland. When there was no other like him, this beast moved into “rescue-gear”, and BANG – everything came into place. His pleasurable actions saved a country from agricultural peril, for he made maximum use of God’s most private gift. This beast’s never-ending supply of masculine eggs and his stamina to out do the done substantiates his greatness. His passionate anti-celibacy and his celestial health made a perfect combination for producing the very best of his kind – protein-laden, and with premium milk quality. For ten years this fighter penetrated the impossible, and helped his country’s agriculture extensively, and all he needed was his most private God-given gift(s). A genius indeed.

May his soul come to peace.

P.S. Don’t believe me? http://www.4to40.com/newsat4/print.asp?id=817

Concentration Problem

I got up 1 & ½ hours later than I should have today, took my time in the bathroom, read the paper like it was the last time I will ever read one, ate a banana, studied Probability, took a break, had lunch, continued with the “short-break” and ended up watching Saving Private Ryan, which is awesome btw, and Harold & Kumar Go To WhiteCastle, which is decently funny, after which I logged on to Youtube, Facebook and MSN to watch, seek attention and chat, respectively; I then played PES 4, which is an awesomely addictive game, and followed that up with an hour of sleep, to wake up and realize that it’s dinner time, so I ate a scrumptious home-cooked low-fat dinner and then got very frustrated at my inability to study, so instead of studying I ended up doing something half-constructive – writing our farewell speech; which I was somewhat successful in, but which may be a little long for 'their' liking, and note: I was still MSN-ing and Facebook-ing during this process, after all multi-tasking is the best way to lead a life, followed closely by actually studying, instead of writing a one-sentence blog post at midnight, and now all that I have left to figure out is – should I sleep, or study all night?

P.S. Apart from the title, this post has no connection with the earlier post(s).

Connection Problem

A “connection” is never one way. But what if this ‘law’ doesn’t always make sense? Maybe I am confusing connection with attraction, or maybe it’s a mix of natural desperation and attraction. But I feel it, and I know I feel it. But she doesn’t, so it’s one way. But I always believed that you can’t feel for someone, without her feeling back for you, because the reason you feel for her, is because she feels back for you. It’s this two way thing that gets it going. She responds, and waits for your response. She wants to know why you couldn’t say ‘hi’ to her the last time you saw her in school, and you feel good that she feels that way. So develops what you think is a “connection” and a “desire”. Yeah? Well not really, at least this time, so the whole idea I once had about “Half-Understanding Human Psychology” takes a trip, because well, the most important aspect doesn’t fit into the jigsaw. So I get confused, and well I am confused, and hope to learn something from this, and then come up with a better “Half-Understanding Human Psychology” theory.

P.S. This post, I write, because I don’t want to lose the emotion that I am currently feeling. So forgive me if it’s annoying.

The Last Official Day...

31st January, 2007. Wow. School is finally over. Finally? Haha. No more of fighting with your sleep in the morning, no more of sitting in boring Chemistry classes, no more annoying sessions of prep, no more “punishments”, no more of “volcanoes” and other annoying people, no more of dealing with school politics, no more childish cat-fights and no more minor acts of homosexuality. That’s it. It’s all over - a hurdle crossed, a bar cleared, a mountain conquered, a story written, the Section A of “Life” is over. Wow. I should be happy and glad for my childhood prayers have been answered, right?

But then why is it suddenly so difficult to accept? I have been waiting for this moment (and of course, also for end March), and now that I am experiencing it, I just want to rewind, or relive, or continue in the same old cycle, with the same old people, enjoying the same old friendship, the same old flow of love (however corny that sounds), the same old sense of belonging, the same old same old. It’s difficult dealing with attachment, detachment seems almost impossible.

Today was full of contrasting emotions. First was pride. Our slightly younger peers, i.e Grade 11, blew me (us) away with a beautiful rendition of voices and passion. Then the hypocrisy seemed to seep in, not from them, but generally, and that left me wondering negatively. Loads of pictures, rehearsals, autographs (weirdly enough), hugs and smiles followed. I felt happy and sad. Happy for I would be running away from the wasteful and unnecessary politics and wrongness, and sad as I will not get to spend time with those genuine people that I have genuinely grown close to. Sad - more, for I will miss the pure stupidity that elated us, that moment of immaturity that broke my heart, only to mend itself into a stronger one and the pure respect and love that I and we received from those that saw well in us. From the subtle encouragement of our teachers, to some moments of their sheer brilliance, to their acceptance of our failure, to their respect for our honesty, to their company for our pleasure, to their guidance and support in times of our weakness – it just blows me away. There is so much good and bad, but to appreciate the good and learn from the bad is to make the most of what you get.

It is confusing, this emotion. I know I will miss school and that I will always have this un-destroyable desire to return to school, but at the same time I know I have to look beyond it and dive into the realms of what the future holds for me. I will miss our school and the people I have grown to love, but I will not forget them and those that have changed my life, and taught me it’s greatest lessons. I don’t need signed shirts to do that. I will forget the bad, and make my own soft hours to which I can turn to. This contradiction leaves me almost emotionless – I can’t believe there is no more school.

P.S. Attachment can be a source of annoyance, but it’s the greatest sustainer. Wow – now I am philosopher. Anyway, I still have 2 months of studying left, the before-party, the farewell dinner, the board exams, and the Sports Day to look forward too. Not quite completely over yet now, huh?

"Love's Sweet Salute"

Movie: Salaam-e-Ishq
Length: 220 minutes = 3 hrs 40 mins
Feedback: Fake, 'Faltu' and Filmy

How long can a movie get? How pathetic can acting become? How boring can a feature film be? Salaam-e-Ishq answers all of the above questions more convincingly and satisfying-ly than any other film I have seen to date. It broke records - we actually walked out after the interval.

Why? It’s as if the God wanted to make a really bad film and thought of taking it out on Bollywood. “Inspired” from the classy English film ‘Love Actually’, Salaam-e-Ishq couldn’t go that wrong now could it? Well it did. Sprayed with “un-inspiring” songs and road-side acting, I cannot really point out any positives. Yes the caste seemed very impressive, but figure the following: Vidya Balan is not bad, but is un-pretty and fat; John Abraham is John “too-cool-but-fake-ironed-hair” Abraham; Salman Khan is the epitome of fake + annoying; Priyanka Chopra is fatter and fake-r than ever; Govinda is half decent, but annoying to people who have a general disgust for him; Anil Kapoor hardly speaks a word, but a random, hot, young girl kisses him on the cheek for doing her a small favour, and thus begins a desperate extra-marital wannabe love-affair; Akshaye Khanna is the best over-actor ever and Sohail Khan ridiculously just doesn’t ‘get’ any, but the car in which he is trying to “do it” does fall into his parents’ new house through the roof, but no one dies.

Basically, it was utter bullshit, which was not funny in any way, and this we figured after watching 90 minutes of it, only 130 minutes were left when we walked out. Now if 90 minutes can’t sustain you…

Fine, I guess a story can never, and should never go wrong when it comes to love, but this movie proves even that wrong. As an Aaj Tak reported put it, somewhere within the Fat Lady that is Salaam-e-Ishq, the Thin Lady is waiting to burst out, but the friggin’ flab is too much of an obstruction. I laughed a lot during this Fat Lady. I laughed at the crowd which laughed at the lamest of jokes, I laughed at the ridiculousness of the film, I laughed at Salman Khan for he is one funny pain-in-the-butt and I laughed at myself for paying 35 dirhams to watch this film.

So my advice – don’t you dare watch Salaam-e-Ishq. And if you do, please feel free to walk out whenever you wish. You can enjoy the sheer stupidity of it, but even that gets annoying after some time. To me, this movie is a definition of what not to make and what not to see, so if you are still trying to figure what that is, then it’s a must see.

P.S. It was my sister and my cousin who “forced” me to watch this film.

Penn Masala: The American-Indian Talent + For Facebook Lovers

Penn Masala - in a nutshell - they make me proud! They are a bunch of Indian students studying in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania who have formed an A Capella group. They are the first group in the world to play Hindi A Capella songs, but what's brilliant about them is they way the bridge cultures and mix styles inculcating English, Hindi and Arabic in their songs which are vocally excellent. My favourite covers by them are "Aicha" and "Maa Tujghe Salaam". You can hear their music on - www.pennmasala.com

I got to know "Penn Masala" through this awesomely hilarious video made by them. It's titled "The Facebook Skit".



It's funny, plus the singing is awesome, and the redone words of Enrique's "Hero" are brilliantly intelligently funny. They have so much talent, and I hope they make it bigger than ever! Kudos and good luck to them.

P.S. Friggin' inspiring.

Becks In The States

" It's tantamount to a semi retirement isn't it? "
-Gary Lineker on Beckham's move.

Totally. It's an escape, with a hint of exploration for Becks, and family. Obviously, Becks’ PR agent is brilliantly diplomatic, for all his public statements are a hundred percent politically and “for-good-image”-ly correct. Apparently he is in it only to raise the "soccer-bar" of the USA. Right. But credit to David on that. How much ever he does get the stick, there is this general radiation of genuineness in Beckham which must be appreciated. But his wife? Well let’s just leave that bit to the “Insider”.

Let us first understand the enormity of this contract – 128 million pounds of 5 years – yes 128 with 6 zeros, to play for an American “Soccer” Team, in country which calls the age-old game of football, “Soccer”! All in all, the moneys adds up to about 26 million pounds a year, and about 490,000 pounds a week, which is about 70,000 pounds a day. Yes I know everyone can do the math, and everyone knows the “figure(s)”, but I need to reiterate – It’s a bloody large sum of money! All I am saying, Mr Beckham, is that, being Godly is all good, but a sum like that would attract even Him. So it wouldn’t be all that bad to admit the fact that, well yes, the money is a ‘fair’ factor, and along with that, “I can also bring about some growth in the MLS, and take American “soccer” to another level” and the other rot. A good counter on that statement of mine would be that Becks has enough already with all his endorsements, so more of these “paper-notes” wouldn’t make that much of a difference to him, but humanity and Posh are different. We humans spend a lot if we can and so does she, maybe her a 'little' more than we can, and when you have 3 mouths to fill, you need that much money now, don’t you?

Sorry, that does sound a little harsh, but sometimes it’s so glaring that we debate only because of the severity of the situation, which goes beyond reason. Let’s not do that. I feel the money is one of the major factors to David's departure and a sum like that will always be - just accept it - no one’s going to kill you. Another "factor", according to me, is Posh. The Hitler-Beckham would love to go the States right, and to Los Angeles? Jackpot!Well to put it nicely 'the family' would love to spend time in one of the most livable places in the world. Now if one women could get a reward for the highest amount of ‘influencing-of-a-man’, it would be the spicy Victoria. From the wackiest haircuts that sometimes even the most open minded people found horrendous (though some were actually good), to the wrongly spelt Hindi-‘Vhictoria’ tattoo, Posh has shaped the pink-man that David is today. Well she is his wife, so it’s not all that bad, but ever since the one thing he is half-good at, “football” has gone no where. His hair, his tattoos, the children, the money, some more hair and so on have been the center of his life. But then, we shouldn’t take anything away from David, after all the best men are the family men. But Davy-boy, let's leave all that apart, just tell us gossip-hungry sadists the real reason for your new pursuit - that’s all I want.

Maybe I am making a big deal out of the family factor and the female-Hitler, but hey how deceiving is what appears? We will never know. So for my selfish pleasure, I write this half-sadistic post and try and ridicule the living day lights out of the Beckham family.

David Beckham’s right foot is legendary in its own way – but then, that’s it. His time at Manchester is also legendary, but since Madrid, it’s been downhill battle for him, and Posh hasn’t really helped. Will Beckham do any better in a “Galaxy” far, far away? Will he “revolutionize” American soccer? I really don’t think so.

MLS commissioner Don Garber said in a statement: "David transcends the sport and is a cultural icon. David is clearly one of the most recognizable athletes in the world”.

I say: "David is clearly one of the most recognizable male-fashion-icons of world, beyond the little football he can play with his right boot.” But then who the hell am I?

P.S. I superficially apologize for the harshness, but my views stick.

Hot Or Not?

Bored? Don't know what to do? Feel like judging people? Feel like being superficial? Want to be fascinated? Go here and click away: www.hotornot.com - Relax it's not porn, on the contrary, it's "fun, clean and real". Enjoy your moment of pure sadism and required stress-relief. Sometimes judging people is all we can do, so why not do it to those who actually want to be judged?

What the sites does is, it gives you a picture, and asks you to rate that picture on the scale of 1 to 10. That's preposterous, right? Come to think of it, it's unbelievable, the site that is. About 26 million people from all over the world have registered their pictures, and over 12 billion votes have been counted. Now more than a million people can't be wrong. Right? Wow. But I have to admit, it is a little bit of fun. :P

You can add yourself to the "Hot Or Not" list too, but I don't think I want to end up seeing my picture there. Right?

P.S. "Dhruv" (the 8th commenter on my previous post) - Thanks for the link - fascinating...

3 Months...

3 months and then F R E E D O M - that’s how I like to look at it. But I complain, and keep complaining. I just have to bring up the now age-old debate – “The Indian Syllabus & How Bad It Is…Or Not” - I am writing a book on it. For the look-a-likes, India Today hit out on the Indian Syllabus calling it an “all rote” experience, and a survey of 30,000 students made them conclude that the Indian Syllabus is way behind the international standards. Apparently the 30,000 Indian students’ survey was good enough for researchers to prove that application-wise most Indian-System-bred Indian students can’t be compared with the international-system-ly bred students. Right. It's true, we sometimes just can't apply Newton's 3rd Law, but then how do we still end up doing well? I think we Indians are just too darn hard-working – and that is the greatest lesson the Indian System can inculcate in us, but then, that’s it.

I am not here to enlighten the already enlightened anymore about how wrong the Indian System is, I am here to complain. I hate this time. Beyond the personal stuff, which always gets messed up at this time of the year, the studying has got to me - B I G-time. There are like a billion distractions, and if I can’t find a distraction, I make one, like reading “Aquarius”. Who does that? I watch Al Ahli V Al Wahda on the television, and convince myself as to how “The Bold & The Beautiful” actually has some substance. Facebook is friggin’ addictive, and I can’t stop eating.

At this point, I wrote another 400 words on how I hate “this time”, which I have no intention of putting in, because it’s too darned whiney. So to sum it all up: I can’t, and I mean, I cannot wait for these 3 long, dreary, painful, fattening, annoying and BORING months to bamboozle themselves out of my God-forsaken life.

That felt good – venting helps.

To bring in a little optimism or dreaminess – there is so much to look forward to as soon as the ISC exams end. Ideas and dreams start erupting one after the other as I seem to plan out every single day beyond the trauma. There is so much to do, football, work, Redial Entertainment, salsa (hopefully), football, gym, football, University, and just the ability to watch television for hours without feeling guilty about it. Bliss…

…is 3 months away,

P.S. I think, and only think, that “rote” is a new Indian term for “mugging” as in memorizing. Please do enlighten me if I am wrong.

2oo7

A supposedly “planned” out day almost fell apart thanks to well, “God” and a few other “betrayal- of-trust” people. Okay, We ditched the booze-ful, dance-ful and event-ful party atthe Ranches because it was completely contradictory to our definition of fun. But, we heard a lot later of the eventful night that was at the Ranches. Right. Anyway, the highlight of this day was supposedly the football match between the ex-students of our school and us, the current students. But hey, quite obviously the ex-students didn’t show. Hell the guy who was “organizing” the ex-students himself didn’t show up. Thanks Kumar! But credit to Josie for being a darling, and blessing us with his half-hippie presence. So what started of as a would-be formal match, ended up as Man Utd fans v/s Arsenal fans match (kinda), in which the lucky-asses of Man Utd won. Fine and damn. It was fun, none the less.

The “match” gets over, thanks to another cheap ass goal from the Man Utd wannabes, and they win. Exhausted after 3 hours of passionate football we finally breathe. I apologize to all those affected by my uncalled-for and abusive “football-outbursts”, and then thank Dusty for the balls. It is now time to head for our next endeavour, The Beach. But first we decide to freshen up at the ‘always-and-forever’ hideout/second-home, Romit's House. God bless him, his mum and his dad for their whole-hearted acceptance of us, and or 200+ DB noise level. We take turns to shower, and Ali picks up the guitar which clearly signals the most entertaining aspect of any party – Singing with the Best Guitarist ever. We sing the classics; enjoy the flatness of Romit and Harry, while SK, the quiet and bored observer plays TEKKEN 4. Harry comes up with a new song which Tejas encourages, but Ali almost ignores. Ali’s vibrating vibrato than resonates the room, and then enter antagonist – my headache. Okay before any Ali erupts, it’s not because of Ali’s vibrato, nor because of Harry’s and Romit’s flat voices, but because of the dreaded passion of mine, football. 3 hours of heavy football in the cold, cold, "desert" of Dubai seems to have gotten to my head.

Bharath and the rest of the Gang B enter the fray and meet us at Venus Deluxe Restaurant in Karama, and this happens to the be the most entertaining aspect of our day. Vegetarian food at a cheap-ass, but brilliant restaurant, with 10 other guys, turns out to be the highlight of the day. Tejas' & Ali’s balloon is dressed while we wait for a table. Apparently we are the not only people who end up at Venus for new years dinner. The food we order comes quick, and above all is scrumptious. Everyone enjoys his complicated-concoctedly-named dosa. Bharath’s “Dry Gobi Manchurian” is a hit. We order 4 plates of that, and well each one of us eats our heart out, rekindling the memories of the by-gone year and well, our by-gone lives, in which one of the highlights is a certain senior male computer teacher. Then the bill comes, and we are filled with unexplainable joy – 10 Dirhams per head – that’s how much it costs. This makes the dinner even more satisfying. There is nothing like good, cheap food. Call us “losers”, “faggots” or whatever else, but Venus rocks! Meanwhile, my headache, despite the Panadol, is still pissing the hell out of me.

It’s 11. We desperately want to make it to the beach before 12. I struggle with an aching head, and Harry, the sweet guy he is, offers me his Santa cap. Everyone else is hunting for cabs. But all we find is a hundred other people waiting for cabs. We see an empty cab, but the bastard doesn’t stop for us. He prefers to give the Filipino chicks a ride instead. Ass. We give up cursing all the frustrating frustrated cab drivers of Dubai who can be such…well we just give up. Time to revert to a previously non-existent Plan B – Romit’s play area. Romit’s house/building saves the day yet again.

It’s 11:45 and my head is still spinning. I get annoyed. We are running to make it Romit’s roof on time for new years. The gang races ahead, my headache pulls Tejas, Govind, Bharath and me back. We lose our way and get temporarily lost in Romit's corridor. The clock strikes 12. We are still in the corridor. Wow. New Years in a Corridor - simply brilliant. Tejas and me just look at each other and smile, and memories of previous New Year nights race into our heads – Burjuman, City Center and City Center – 3 places of our 3 previous New Years. Yeah, laugh on.

We finally make it to the roof after wishing a party of random people “Happy New Year” on the way and then observe the environment-unfriendly-but-half-amusing firecrackers that light up the sky. It’s then time to wish the people we care about “Happy New Year”. Hugs are exchanged and so are messages and phone-calls. Clichéd-ly ‘awwww’. My headache is still pissing the hell out of me, and therefore I decide to spend the night at the life-saver Romit’s house. Harry & Ali go randomly missing having well a “chat”, anyway I hope there was nothing sexual about their escape. We get a little scared when Ali tells us that he pissed in Romit’s building’s Sauna. What the hell was Harry doing? Observing? Anyway, I ignore, at least then.

We have our “honest” talk at Romits, and then Harry leaves. My head is still spinning so I sleep, and soon the rest follow. The end. But not the end of my head-ache – because the annoying piece of shit still haunts me when I get up. For everyone who still doesn’t get it – its painfully annoying to have a headache on New Years.

New Years is over-rated. It’s an excuse to celebrate, but it’s fun none the less. I celebrate it, and that is a little hypocritical (sorry Ali!) in its own way. But hey fun is fun, and even if New Years eve wasn’t the funnest of fun, it was still an experience.

Happy New Year to everyone, however random you are to me. Let’s hope this year is greater, more eventful and more fruitful than the last. Enjoy…

P.S. A long post, but another memory successfully created.