Saturday, March 08, 2008


Spring break is here. Woot woot! Time to parttaaayy! Get those trunks and bikinis out y’all, it’s time to hit the beach! Let’s get high! Let’s crunk it up, hoe! Let’s do this, bro!

Not really.

I am in Dobie, doing nothing, and I am loving every moment of it. It’s this weird satisfaction that you get when no one’s telling you what to do. It’s this no-responsibility, no-liability, do-whatever-the-hell-you-want like phase. You sleep when you want, eat when you want, play when you want, listen to music when you want and do absolutely what you want to. It’s brilliant. I have no family member to be nice to or to respect, I have no chore to do that I don’t want to, I have nobody to force myself to talk to - I have nothing to do that I need to. It is pure freedom and it’s bloody brilliant.

The past year has been awesome, no doubt, but there comes a time when you really just want to sit down and do nothing. All my past life, there has been someone looking over or someone I owe a responsibility too or someone I feel I need to make happy – be it mum or dad, or a friend or some other family member. Not now, and it, for some reason feels very good. It’s not that I despise any of these people, it’s just that I am going through a much needed release - a removal of the load of maintaining yourself for the sake of others, a removal of all the unnecessary drama that I somehow get entangled in, a removal of all silly complications, and just a time to sit down and breathe. It’s a time to do a little introspection and think about nothing or everything. It’s a completely no-strings-attached reason to enjoy myself and my life, away from the people I am always surrounded by, away from the good and away from the bad.

I am not in any way saying that I want this situation to last forever. No, I’d go insane without people – without my friends, without family and without everyone who I care about. But, there comes a time when you need to be away from every single thing, when you need to be alone and lonely. This loneliness is not depressing - it’s mind-bogglingly fulfilling. For me, this is that time.

P.S. I don’t when I am gonna get sick of this feeling – maybe sooner than I can imagine. But right now, it’s beautiful, let me enjoy it.