The 'Past Few Weeks' saga came to an abrupt end. You see, there is this problem, called time, so many of the things that I wanted to write about did not actually make it up here. Fine. But this one is a must.
There comes a certain time in everyone's life (I guess) when reality dawns, and when we finally realise something so..well...DUH. This was just one thing, which I feel is the cause of all disappointment, cause of all problems, cause of all fights, cause of all hatred and well, everything else. This 'cause', I feel, is that we expect too much from people. Atleast I do, and as a matter of fact, quite frankly and unhaughtily, I should rephrase that too some of us expect too much from people. How many times have we heard people complaining 'he should have done that' or 'why is he late?'. Okay, yes expectations are required, otherwise this world would not function. Everybody expects, but the people who really suffer are who 'expect too much'. And I am one of them. It's not bad, actaully the intentions are all good, but it is harmful. Because when someone doesn't meet your expectations, you get disappointed, irritated, stressed and depressed. There is no need for that.
Be it your best friends, your girlfriend, your peers, your elders - everyone disappoints. It is not like they mean to, but then we get so troubled and demanding about everything, it just happens. The worst scenario is even when you talk to these people - and they still don't get it. It's so frustrating. You start thinking and speculating and wondering, and then the worst bit - you start to blame yourself. You don't feel like talking, you don't feel like doing anything for anyone, but then again you care. So you get even more perplexed, you feel like hitting your head against the wall, and then you try to do something about it instead - so you try to pick up the phone and call - But then again, you check yourself. STOP. No. How much can you say? That's when it hits you - stop it. Stop expecting so much. Continue to do what you want to, continue to try to meet other people's expectations, (not that it always happens - but I have realised it so I need to practice it as much as I can) continue caring and for once, putting other people before you - but without too many expectations.
I have somewhat started doing that and the feeling is awesome. If you haven't already realised, the most amount of joy is felt by us when we don't expect something and we get it. WOW! Think about it, I really don't know what you think - but to me, this holds a lot of reverence. As my Elvis puts it, reflect.
The past few weeks have taught me just that. It has come to me like a plate of food comes onto a wife-betrayer's face. But then again we need to question: How much do we expect from ourselves? Because we cannot not expect anything from ourselves, then we would end up no where. Again, reflect.
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6 comments:
It's the strangest coincidence; for some reason i just could NOT pinpoint why (without being too revealing here) i felt a certain way as i did in "the past few weeks", honestly no pun intended there! And reading this entry was like having realization smack me on the head. It had the same dawning effect that i think(i hope)"HIStory" had for you, without the intention of being therapeutic. I still can't get over the fact that you stole the words out of my head and put them on your blog, this should be grounds for plagiarism! Thanks for being inspirational :) x
I completely agree with you, especially the part about the joy one feels when one doesn't expect anything. Even when I manage to achieve what I had expected, I don't get as much joy as I do when I get something that I never expected.
Have no desires - isn't that what life is all about, isn't that what religion tells us. Work hard to achieve your goals, but don't let your goals supercede you.
Great post!
ello Anish! Sorry I have taken so long to post. Its in our nature to expect. Like when some1 raises a hand at us, we flinch as a reflex. I think more than anything it gives us a sense of knowing how stuff will turn out and by extension, a sense of safety which i think we all need. As long as we don't depend on what we expect and base our plans on the expectations, i think we should be alright. the thing is, you never know what's going to happen and how stuff will turn out! So when something does happen just take it! and for what will come, just take it!
By far your most personal post I'd have to say, and a great one at that!
Ta!
Very true. But then don't u think that when you stop expecting things, you stop aiming for things, and when that happens, you dont achieve those goals. if our aim was to get nothing, we'd get something. good. but if we aimed high, we'd expect a lot, and when got a lot, but less than what we wanted, we would be upset. so its a dilemma thats difficult to solve.
Unmukt, i never said expect nothing - that is stupid. In fact i have actually stated "Okay, yes expectations are required, otherwise this world would not function. Everybody expects, but the people who really suffer are who 'expect too much'. " - so yeah require expectations...but we shudnt expect too much...and this is regardring expectations of people..not ourselves.
I haven't been feeling like my usual self of late and like ishika couldnt figure out the reason why (close friends think alike i suppose?!). Expectations are in general scary. It's not just what one expects of others but also what one expects from oneself. " I should have known that.." or "I should have done that... or even "How did i miss it..." are equally significant and i find them much harder to meet. There are bound to be disappointments but i definitely agree (probably like everyone else) about the joy one feels when something fortunate happens unexpectedly. Enjoyed the post. I took my time in commenting on it because it meant a lot to me! thank you!
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