Achieving

There were once 23 (+/- 2) extremely special, little, brown squirrels. They kept running around the University of Texas with only their commitment to a cause holding them together. They all had this yearning desire to spread their brown squirrel-ness among the other thousands of squirrels. The leader-squirrel was the most hardworking squirrel that the squirrel-community had ever seen, in addition to being unbelievably nice and super-unbelievably calm. The vice-leader squirrel was this tiny, cute, little, passionate thing – you’d probably never find a squirrel more principled in life, in addition to the tons of fun this squirrel could instigate. There were also two special-breed squirrels. One of them was the genetically-enhanced-by-the-Squirrel-God “U-squirrel” and the other was the genetically-modified-by-passion “S-squirrel”. Now these 2 special squirrels were like pioneers for the other extremely special, little, brown squirrels. They inspired, motivated, helped and guided these extremely special, little, brown squirrels through crisis and dilemmas. All in all, these 23 (+/- 2) extremely special, little, brown squirrels were a united bunch of squirrels, functioning together to pervade their brownness throughout the flora and fauna of the University of Texas.

These 23 (+/- 2) extremely special, little, brown squirrels hosted a cluster of events –from serving brown-squirrel-food on campus to hosting thousands of squirrels in the biggest of squirrel-run events. Oh, how these extremely special, little, brown squirrels slogged their extremely special, little, brown backsides off! All this did not obviously come without drama. There were fights, arguments, clashes of opinions, and cut-throat disagreements – oh, these little brown squirrels were feisty and passionate little creatures! But these clashes were always constructive, and in the end, the best won through, and all the differences seemed to evaporate. Instead, there was this binding brown-squirrel-love that ignited. And then, all these extremely special, little, brown squirrels were merry again.

This cycle of constructive clashes was what made these 23 (+/- 2) little, brown squirrels extremely special. But, one day, like a bolt from the blue, Zeus bolted upon these little, brown squirrels, a curse. Oh, how the thunder clouds trembled over these little, brown squirrels! They argued like there was no tomorrow, and they hit an all time emotional low - drama and controversy unparalleled. Life moved on and these 23 (+/- 2) little, brown squirrels limped ahead too. They did their duties, but seemed scarred. The brown-squirrel electricity seemed to have dropped by a few voltages. As, the year came towards end, these 23 (+/- 2) little, brown squirrels didn’t seem to feel the love.

However, amidst all this depression, something hidden under the squirrelly-covers erupted. The 23 (+/- 2) extremely special little, brown squirrels won the coveted title of being the “most outstanding” squirrel group in the University of Texas for all their efforts. All of a sudden, everything seemed worth it. All the stress, pain, anger and frustration fizzled out only to convert into this great feeling of pride. The extremely special, little, brown squirrels had achieved something of great consequence. There was this sense of deserved accomplishment among the squirrels, and for that moment, the fights and the personal riffs seemed irrelevant. There was this burning desire to celebrate and treasure the achievement.

Treasured, appreciated and celebrated, the moment soon transcended into bitter nostalgia. All the squirrels seemed to look beyond the differences, and seemed to be lost in the memories – the ups, the downs, the laughs, the cries, the fights, the love, the anger, the stress and above all, the squirrel-ly experience.

But, just like how all zeniths have a climax, these 23 (+/- 2) extremely special little, brown squirrels also reached a point of decision. Some of the squirrels felt that they had had enough of the rollercoaster and decided to walk away, satisfied with memories. Some squirrels decided to continue spreading the brown squirrel-ness that they had grown to love. Some squirrels left prematurely, heart-broken and unable to get over the past. Some were driven out and some just drifted away, in search of something different, satisfied with what they had experienced. But, all of these squirrels hoped that there would be new squirrels to take their place and continue spreading the brown-squirrel-ness and wished them the very best of luck. The squirrels realized that just like the American Economy, everything that has a boom also has a recession. They hoped that there wouldn’t be that much of a recession, but instead more of a transition – a replacement, a restart. No squirrel can deny how much the experience has taught them, probably more than any squirrelly book could. Accepting all of this, they ended their united chapter, and looked at starting new, separate, individual ones.

P.S. As the story-teller, I’d say this would make a pretty decent feature film. Anybody want to name the squirrels?

Dancing With The Girl

Long time, no blog? Yes sir – women, dances and a ton of university work. But besides that, between this post and the previous one, lies a phase of life that shouldn’t necessarily have happened but none the less, has enlightened my brain with quite a few pointers on life and women. Here’s the issue – I fall for the wrong girls. The nicer you are the less I am attracted to you. The more appropriate you are, the less I am attracted to you. The crazier you are, the more attracted I am to you. The more eccentrically messed up you are, the more I am attracted to you. I am attracted to those that fascinate me. Sounds good and all? Not really. The fascinating ones I am attracted to are the ones that screw me over. Intentionally or unintentionally? I don’t know - that makes it worse. Add that to my attachment issues and you get a bomb waiting to explode. Your friends warn you to STAY AWAY, and how much ever you respect their opinion, you do exactly the opposite. Hope + Hormones are powerful forces. The “chase” is even more powerful.

Now this “chase” is more than just stalking a random girl - that’s pure, hopeless, horny-ness. This “chase” is more hopeful. There is an undeniable “something”. That spark that you know exists is what makes it interesting. It’s not entirely one way. It might be dominated by one side, but that response from the other side is what sustains the “chase”. Then what gets added to the “chase” is this crazy mind game. Fun fun? No. I suck at mind games. I am too darn open and thus, always hand the leash to the other. I need to learn the game, or devise a new kick-ass one instead. This “chase” does sometime end and transcend into a more fruitful, stable phase, but at other times you get bulldozer-ed over. Either way, you cannot deny the pleasure of the pursuit.

I, like you, also, cannot deny the fun either. In this “chase” of mine, it wasn’t as if I was Mr Perfect and she messed up, I did some stupid things too (nothing unfaithful you drama-seeking mis-judgers). My over-emotional emotions got the better of my general emotions and I let those bastardic emotions control me. Not smart. I over-analyzed and over-thought everything. I over-said everything I felt. I was over-honest. None of that really works. What’s worse is that this situation made me say stupid, dramatic things. It unleashed this sense of immaturity that I thought didn’t exist in me. If I had ever seen someone else say the things I did say, I would have ridiculed that person’s bum off. I felt stupid and said stupid, immature, snappy, unreasonable, over-dramatic, attention-deriving things. That’s scary. But what I am super-scared of is the type of girls I am falling for. There was no real good reason to like this girl and I shouldn’t have. We are two extremes of the spectrum of humanity. We wouldn’t get along and were not getting along. But I did fall for her! I really hope it is some combination bad luck and hormones.

Anyway, “things” did happen and things did fall apart. All for the good, eh? I think so. My friends turned out to be right, and my counselor back in Dubai helped me take it all out in addition to showering her wise words of wisdom on me. My sister told me to buy this book and I told myself to try and never succumb to my emotions again. I regret some things I said and I regret some things that happened, but I learnt a ton. Good enough.

P.S. Maybe a little too personal, this post is not intended to harm anyone. Writing helps.